This pain is just too real
by charisma26
Summary: Piper finds out that Chris is gone... not just gone back to the future like she first thought but actually dead, killed by the hands of an elder, and all she feels is this sharp, anguished pain in her chest that threatens to crush her whole! set between season 6 and 7 - please R&R! :)


Disclaimer: Charmed is not mine because, well, it just isn't!

Piper was so incredibly happy. Wyatt was safe, Chris had just been born and she was content with her life. But of course she couldn't get rid of the niggling feeling in the pit of her stomach telling her something was wrong. She had felt it for days ever since Chis had been born but she pushed it away, blaming it on nerves.

Then there were her sisters and Leo. They acted weird around her, too cheery and happy. She had questioned them about big Chris but they just changed the subject and it annoyed her. She saw in their eyes that something was wrong, terribly wrong, but she didn't question them – afraid to.

When Leo orbed her back home she was greeted by her sisters but a feeling of loss soon settled on her chest which made her heart flutter in fear. Something was going on and she was determined to find out what.

She placed Chris who was in his baby basket on the floor and faced her sisters and ex-husband.

"So… did Chris get back okay?" she asked and watched as her family's faces fell and their eyes got that haunted look in them.

"Um…" Phoebe stuttered out gazing at Leo sadly.

"What? What is it?" she quizzed, the panic making it hard to breath. Finally after days she was getting some answers, but did she really want them?

"Piper… why don't you sit down" Leo suggested quietly, looking so incredibly heartbroken Piper felt like crying though she didn't know why.

"I don't want to sit down, I want you to tell me what's going on" Piper demanded, folding her arms across her chest and standing off against her family. She just wanted answers, hell, she needed them.

"Um… Chris… is gone" Leo stated unsurely, glancing at her sisters nervously and then staring back at her, his eyes portrayed this fierce sense of sadness that Piper just wanted to hold him and never let go.

"Yes… I know… back to the future where he belongs" But even as she said that she knew, deep in her heart, that it wasn't true. Chris seemed unreachable even though he was sleeping in his baby basket right beside her and that only meant one thing but she demised the idea straight away. No, it wasn't true.

"Piper, honey, I'm so sorry" Phoebe spoke up, eyes glistening with unshed tears, her usual perky self was defeated and dull and Piper didn't like it one bit. It was… un-natural.

"Look, would you all stop with the cryptic messages and tell me where. Is. My. Son" She told them sharply, her brown eyes alive with fire. Chris was okay, of course he would be okay, why wouldn't he? The feeling in the pit of her something was definitely wrong because, Piper summarised, Chris wasn't dead, he was back to the future he helped save.

"Gideon… Gideon killed Chris Piper, we're so sorry" Paige told her, a steady trail track of tears running down her cheeks. Piper's blood ran cold at that statement, No. No. NO. lies, it was all lies, surely. She didn't sit back and let her son die, no, no, no.

Her mind was foggy and she suddenly felt dizzy – her vision clouded with tears as she stared at her family in anguish, feeling her heart shatter into a million pieces. No, not her son.

"No" She muttered, involuntarily taking a few steps backwards" No, Chris-Chris is fine" She stated but she didn't believe herself. Ever since she gave birth to him she knew something was… off. Not with little Chris, he was perfect, but every time she stared into his flawless green orbs she felt sad and she didn't know why… until now.

She remembered how he hugged her tightly and told her he loved her, and she knew he meant it. He was her son, granted from a different time, but she loved him all the same. She loved how he travelled all that way to save his family, loved how he tried to do the right thing, he was her son and that bastard Gideon had killed him – murdered him in cold blood.

Anger spread through Piper's veins along with this awful, tearing, gripping, crushing pain that threatened to swallow her whole. She had just got Chris and then she lost him. Why? Why did destiny or fate or whatever have it in for them? Why did they have to suffer so much? First Prue, then her marriage, now her son, her beautiful boy who grew into the best man and made her proud. Why? It wasn't fair.

Piper let out a choking gasp, her grief too much to handle. Leo had already raced forward and took her in his arms, holding her close and stroking his hair. Piper just gripped at him, holding fistfuls of his blue shirt in her hand and crying openly, aguishly, crying for her lost son.

Normally she was strong, Pier didn't cry often, but her world had just collapsed around her and she felt as though she was dying inside, she felt as though a part of herself had died with her son.

Sniffling, piper looked down and saw her perfect little boy waking up in his baby basket, his piercing, bottle green eyes focused on her the entire time and Piper saw a comforting gaze in them, like he knew how much she was hurting and was saying 'it's okay mom – you haven't really lost me'

Piper wiggled from Leo's grasp and fell to her knee's beside Chris. Gingerly unbuckling him from his basket she held him to her chest, holding his fragile body close to hers. She wouldn't lose him again, she wouldn't, she wouldn't allow that to happen.

Her sobs were muffled by Chris' blanket and tears were making her skin itchy but she cried on – she had lost her son, and she couldn't help but feel she chose him over Wyatt even though deep in her heart she knew that wasn't true. She loved them both equally with all her heart and was determined, now more than ever, to love them unconditionally and keep them protected because she didn't think she could take the bone crushing pain ever again.

So… was it okay? Good? Bad? Let me know please, reviews are very much appreciated!


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